Have you ever had this feeling? Feels as if the world is about to fall apart, and nothing can stop it from happening. I don’t know why but today it just felt as if we were drifting apart…… drifting from each others hearts. You told me that you felt as if I had moved on on… as if I didn’t love you anymore… then you told me… that maybe I was in love with one of my friends… when I only have you in my heart. Maybe I’m not showing you that I love you enough…. these words sting and leave my heart shattered. I’m not sure what I should be doing… I’m lost… But just to let you know all I want to do right now is to hold you… hold you close to my heart and just be there with you. Never let you go, till you know I love you. Baby I know you’re worried about me, these past few days I haven’t been the greatest or the best… Stress got to me, and it’s breaking me apart, without you holding me together I’m afraid of breaking apart. When you said maybe we should take a break? That crushed me, left speechless I didn’t know how to reply…. I’m not sure why you asked. My answer will always be no because I love you. It broke me, maybe you wanted to help me with my stress but just to let you know, you are my stress reliever with you, I can forget about the world around me and focus on you. Angel when I’m stressed I become the devil, I do things uncharacteristic of me, now that I’ve shown you my worst I hope we stay together. <3 because nothing means more to me than you……..
If I ever went up to heaven, I would fall right back down, that life wouldn’t be living because you’re the one I couldn’t live without <3 K.L
Have you ever felt speechless? Might come from surprise, happiness, or just shock.. Whatever the cause may be, it certainly feels strange… it’s as if the world around you has just stopped and everyone is awaiting your reply. The best you can do for a reply is Ughhh Uhhhhhh Uhmmmmmm……. Yet the words never seem to escape… Imagine that feeling in the heart, after hearing words you never wanted to hear. Or maybe seeing something you never wanted to see. Speechless heart and also it feels like your heart dropped into your stomach and left there to burn away. Or maybe turn to Heart drop soup(I know horrible pun) but it’s a bitch of a feeling to deal with.
Today after hearing some words and seeing my own actions shock me…… it happened the dreaded heart drop, I was left speechless unable to express emotion, feeling like the world was looking at me for the right choice. The tears started to swell in my eyes, I never let them fall but I can’t deny this feeling…..
Well as much as this misleading title is =) I’m actually in an amazing mood! My girlfriend and I are going strong, sure they may be a few bumps in this road. But it’s a road I’m willing to take with her. What ever storms come by, I know if I hold her hand we won’t be lost.
Being in love seriously is a lot harder than those picture perfect endings on asian dramas. It’s a lot more unpredictable and to our extent as humans we don’t always make the right choices in the end. We may end up breaking our hearts or someone else’s but as humans we have always got back up and just to tell life to just fuck off for a bit. The overwhelming feelings of regret and remorse are just around the corner, so as long as we don’t take a fall while crossing the highway of love… we won’t get ourselves killed. It’s harder than it seems, to be honest I’ve tripped up while running across and landed myself in a hole too deep to get out of… and what did I do… I only dug myself deeper when all I had to do was wait for someone or something to rescue me. Never lose words of optimism because while I dug myself deeper, I always thought to myself if I dug deep enough I would come out on the other side in China. Guess what I came out the other side, but not in China, I came out in the same place but as a changed man. That something I was waiting for was self realization, realization that I shouldn’t spend time depressed, I should have spent it picking myself up.